I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
