would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
