you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
