How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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