ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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