we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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