dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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