i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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