I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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