Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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