I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
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