I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
