let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
