It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
