pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
