just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
