I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize