Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
