I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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