Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
