when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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