.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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