I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
