You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
