Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have post one night stand depression
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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