You made me cry and you don't even care
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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