My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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