big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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