I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
