The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
