Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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