I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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