it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I see more hoeing in ur future
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
