woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
