4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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