Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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