I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
