Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
