She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
