oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize