I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
birth control should be required to get into college
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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