i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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