i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
