i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
