Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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