You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
