I think I am morally bankrupt
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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