when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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