Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
