i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and she was petting her beer can
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
