I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
