Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
