well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
