I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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