I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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